Nabal was a very rich man. Scripture tells us he had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats, and he lived in a region where such wealth meant power and respect. He was shearing his sheep, which was a time of celebration and generosity, when ten young men arrived with a polite request.
They came from David, who was hiding in the wilderness at that time. David’s men had been living near Nabal’s shepherds, and during that time they had protected them. Nabal’s own servants later admitted that David’s men were like a wall around them by night and by day, and that nothing had been lost while they were nearby. Now David was simply asking, respectfully, for whatever Nabal could spare for his men, on a day of feasting.
How did Nabal respond? He said, “Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?” (1 Samuel 25:10 to 11)
That answer was insulting, ungrateful, and selfish, and it set off a chain of events. David was furious and set out with four hundred men to destroy Nabal’s household. Nabal knew nothing about it. In fact, that very night, he was holding a feast like a king, with his heart merry and himself very drunk, completely unaware that his entire household was hours away from disaster.
It was his wife Abigail who saved the day. A servant had quietly told her what was happening, noting that Nabal was such a person that nobody could speak to him. Abigail quickly gathered bread, wine, meat, grain, raisins, and figs, rode out to meet David, humbled herself, and pleaded with him not to take revenge. David listened to her, blessed her for her wisdom, and turned back.
When Nabal finally heard what had almost happened, scripture says his heart died within him, and he became like a stone. About ten days later, the Lord struck him, and he died. The man who was too proud to listen, too proud to give thanks, and too proud to be corrected, lost everything.
Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” The story of Nabal is a living picture of that verse. And here is what troubles me most about it: Nabal probably did not think he had a problem. He likely saw himself as a successful, sensible man protecting what was his. That is how pride works. A lot of people who have pride do not even know it. They see it as a normal lifestyle, until it causes a great fall.
The Quick Answer: What Is Pride?
Pride is an inflated view of yourself that shows up as ungratefulness, selfishness, refusing correction, and looking down on others, and it leads to a fall. It is a condition of the heart, not just a way of speaking or behaving.
Pride is not the same as healthy confidence or being thankful for your achievements. Pride is a heart that says, “I do not need God, I do not need counsel, and I am better than others.”
Pride Is a Matter of the Heart
One thing I want to make clear is that pride does not always look loud. Some proud people are very quiet and polite on the outside. Others may seem humble in speech, but inside, they look down on other people. And some people are loud and expressive, yet have a very humble heart.
Pride is not only about how we talk or how we react, it is about the state of the heart. It is about what a person thinks about himself, what he thinks about other people, and what he thinks about their opinions. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Obadiah 1:3 says, “The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee.” Notice that word: deceived. Pride blinds you to itself.
So how do you know if you have it? Let us look at some signs from the life of Nabal and from the rest of scripture.
9 Signs of Pride
1. Being ungrateful
Nabal received protection from David’s men and never acknowledged it. When they asked for a small favour in return, he acted as if he owed them nothing. Ungratefulness is one of the clearest signs of pride, because a grateful person admits that he received help, and a proud person believes he did it all alone.
Deuteronomy 8:17 to 18 warns, “And thou say in thine heart, My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth. But thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth.” And 1 Corinthians 4:7 asks, “What hast thou that thou didst not receive?”
Ask yourself: Do I thank God and the people who have helped me? Or do I take all the credit?
2. Thinking selfishly
Read Nabal’s words again: “my bread, my water, my flesh.” He used “my” over and over. Pride makes everything about you. It makes it hard to share, hard to give, and hard to consider other people’s needs.
Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
Ask yourself: Am I generous? When someone needs help, is my first thought, “What about me?”
3. Arrogant defiance
Nabal did not just refuse, he insulted the messengers and mocked David’s identity with, “Who is David?” This is arrogant defiance, a stubborn attitude that says, “Who are you to tell me anything?” It shows up as disrespect for authority, dismissiveness toward others, and a refusal to bow to anyone.
Proverbs 21:4 says, “An high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked, is sin.”
Ask yourself: How do I respond to people in authority, or to people I consider beneath me? With respect, or with contempt?
4. Rejecting wise counsel
Nabal’s servants knew that nobody could speak to him. That is why they went to Abigail instead. A proud person is hard to advise, because he believes he already knows best. Abigail eventually had to act behind his back, because counselling him directly was pointless.
Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” And Proverbs 13:10 says, “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.”
Notice the contrast with David. When Abigail corrected him, David could have been offended, but he said, “Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: And blessed be thy advice.” (1 Samuel 25:32 to 33) Humility received correction, and pride rejected it.
Ask yourself: When was the last time I accepted correction without getting defensive? Do the people around me feel free to tell me the truth?
5. Mocking others in your heart
Nabal looked at David and saw a runaway servant, someone beneath him. Pride often shows up as looking down on others, even if we never say it out loud. Jesus told a story about this in Luke 18:9, speaking to “certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others.” The Pharisee in the story prayed, “God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are.” He never said a rude word, but his heart was full of contempt.
Ask yourself: Do I secretly judge or laugh at people in my heart? Do I think my opinion is always more important than theirs?
6. Never admitting you are wrong
Proud people find it extremely difficult to say, “I was wrong,” or “I am sorry.” They defend, blame, and explain instead. If you cannot remember the last time you apologised sincerely, it may be a sign of pride.
7. Always needing to be right or in control
Pride makes you want to win every argument, have the final say, and be the centre of attention. When other people succeed or get praise, you feel uncomfortable instead of happy for them.
Ask yourself: Can I celebrate other people’s success genuinely?
8. Self reliance and prayerlessness
When you depend only on your own strength, intelligence, and connections, and rarely seek God’s direction, that is a form of pride. Proverbs 3:5 to 6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”
Ask yourself: Do I pray about decisions, or do I only pray when I am in trouble?
9. Feeling untouchable
Nabal was feasting as though nothing could touch him, while danger was on its way. Pride makes you careless about consequences and blind to warnings. Proverbs 16:18 says that pride goes before destruction, and it often does so quietly, until the fall comes suddenly.
Ask yourself: Do I ignore warnings, or assume that bad things only happen to other people?
Why Pride Is So Dangerous
James 4:6 says, “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” Think about that: God resists the proud. When you operate in pride, you are not only offending people, you are placing yourself in opposition to God, and cutting yourself off from His grace. Proverbs 11:2 adds, “When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.”
Pride can destroy relationships, businesses, ministries, careers, and families. And because it hides so well, many people discover it only after they fall.
How to Deal with Pride
The good news is that pride can be dealt with, and God gives grace to the humble. Here are some practical steps:
Ask God to search your heart. Pray Psalm 139:23 to 24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me.”
Practise gratitude daily. Thank God and thank people. Write down what you are grateful for.
Give credit where it is due. Acknowledge God and everyone who helped you along the way.
Welcome counsel and correction. Surround yourself with honest, godly people, and give them permission to tell you the truth.
Admit your mistakes quickly. Say “I am sorry” and “I was wrong” when you need to.
Serve others. Serving people keeps your heart humble, because it reminds you that life is not just about you.
Celebrate other people. Be happy when others succeed, and encourage them.
Humble yourself before God. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”
Humility does not mean thinking you are worthless. Romans 12:3 tells us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think, but to think soberly. Humility is having a right view of God, a right view of yourself, and a right view of others.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is pride according to the Bible?
Pride is an exaggerated sense of self importance that leads people to rely on themselves instead of God, look down on others, and refuse correction. Scripture says God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
How do I know if I have pride?
Look for signs like ungratefulness, selfishness, defensiveness, refusing counsel, looking down on others, and difficulty admitting mistakes. Ask God and trusted friends to help you see what you cannot see.
Is confidence the same as pride?
No. Confidence is a settled trust in your abilities and in God, while pride is an inflated view of yourself that looks down on others and rejects correction.
Can a person be proud and not know it?
Yes. Obadiah 1:3 says the pride of the heart deceives a person. That is why honest feedback and prayer are so important.
Conclusion
Nabal had wealth, but he did not have humility. He was ungrateful, selfish, defiant, unwilling to listen, and he looked down on others, and it cost him everything. The sobering lesson is that he likely never saw himself as proud.
Take a moment today to ask God to show you your own heart. Pride is not only about what we say or how we react, it is about the state of the heart, and what we think about others and their opinions. If you find any of these signs in your life, do not be discouraged. Humble yourself before God, and He will lift you up. Choose to be like Abigail, wise and humble, instead of like Nabal, who could not be told anything.
